


I See All The Beautiful Colors Here In a Terrifying Storm

by WhisperOfTheDay



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: (written and posted before i watched uprising), Bipolar Disorder, Caffeine Overdose, Gen, Newt-centric, Post-Movie, Pre-Movie, Rating for Language, Sleep Deprivation, basically Newt has never heard of self-care, but it's Newt, shatterdome as family, so nothing new or unexpected there, somewhat unhealthy approach to science and the fact the world's slowly ending, what friends are for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperOfTheDay/pseuds/WhisperOfTheDay
Summary: Newt knows what it's like when eyes are held open and body is held up by an explosive mix of caffeine and energy drinks.





	I See All The Beautiful Colors Here In a Terrifying Storm

It's not like he's unfamiliar with the shaking in his hands and the come-and go itching in his legs. The unsteadiness of his posture is sure as hell noticeable, he's been proved that several times at this point. He barely got out of his chair one time today (or was it yesterday?), grabbing feverishly at his table to stay upright.   
  
His brain goes 50 miles per minute, noticing and recording and analysing _everything, at the same time_ , however it's clear as ever! It's so enjoyable, so fascinating, it's the most amazing he felt in weeks- hell, in months! And his dumb body wants to ruin the fun.   
  
He has power over things. He has knowledge that can save or kill _thousands_ , knows about how this new reality works, he can _control_ it.  
  
Lives dangling on a string only he has knowledge of how to pull. It's horrible, really, but thrilling in a way he never in his life hoped to experience. The adrenaline of the pushing deadlines, rising stakes, adding to the fire of excitement and drive. What else is there to live for if not this! What _is_ living if not this. He succeeds, he invents, he discovers, they listen to him and follow his orders; he is empowered and fearless, unstoppable, he's going to become famous like no other scientist before or after him. He's gonna be known and he's gonna be a _legend._ He'll prove them wrong, he'll - jeez, he feels so high he might _dance_! What? _No!! I'm gonna fucking fly_  
  
And yeah of course the laws of physics are the greatest buzzkill.   
  
Reallity comes crushing back on top of him in form of thick volumes sliding off the table he's just slammed into. The concrete floor's hard as it is, and now he is buried under piles of books and aches all over. Newt can't help but emmit a long suffering creek, as he tries weakly to sit up, and gracelessly fails. His arms and whole torso shake with mere effort to stay upright, the image before him swims sickeningly, stomach feeling like it's compressed under terrible pressure. Heart is beating hysterically in his neck vessels and behind his eyes. The Anchorage Shatterdome lab spins 180° one last time, hands give up on him and before he knows it, consciousness slips away.  


* * *

  
  
  
There were many occurrences just like this over the course of those 10 years.  
  
Last one was 4 years ago. Upon coming to, Newt was surprised to find himself not on the lab floor neither in his bunk nor in medical bay, but in Mako's quarters. It appeared to be the closest to the lab, and the tech Gottlieb fished out to swoop "that knucklehead" off the floor, throw over the shoulder and carry, apparently had back problems, so didn't make it too far. Mako was quite surprised, but not shocked, naturally. Hermann said the embarrassment Newt was supposed to feel at having become a headache for several people should "aid the teaching process greatly". It was a funny thing to hear, giving that his own head was ringing like a chinese gong during new year celebration, or... something. _Oh hell whatever_  
  
After that it seemed like Hermann started keeping a closer eye on him, often reminding him to take his medication and eat, as well as shooshed him (reather harshly) from their workspace every evening (except when Events took place) and locked the lab up, making sure the boredom and monotonous activities of the rest of the Shatterdome drove Newt to his bunk where there simply wasn't much to do that could be keeping him awake for long.   
  
He also removed the coffee machine from the lab, probably hid it in his own room, that meanie. No one could restrain Newt from using the one in the mess, though! Problem was, to do that you have to actually go there.  
  
Somehow Tendo and Mako cooperated and made sure there were no energy drinks in vending machines on the levels he had access to.   
  
_Fun police, those three._  
  
_'Serves you right,'_ a gruff voice rises above the buzz of his thoughts and "Broken Jaw" by Foster The People playing in his earphones.  
  
Newt smiles, surfacing from the reverie. (It was pleasant and safe, unlike most ones lately; reminded him of before. _Now is not so bad too_.) He sips concentrated green tea, which he finds surprisingly tasty as of late, gulping down tonight's twentieth-ish candy, and carries on typing his chapter of "From Out The Ocean Risen".  
  
The radient red clock on the far wall of the L.A. Shatterdome Lab shows 0356, but neither of them is hoping for a good night's sleep, and neither wants one.   
  
There's work to be done. But for once, nobody will get hurt if it's not.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic diverses from FOTOR's canon in some ways, but I included that reference all the same. Cause I'm a crazy fan of Bluestar's series and I can't stop.
> 
> (You can find "From Out The Ocean Risen" here on Ao3, and you just gotta read it. It's the best there is.)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Any form of feedback is deeply appreciated!


End file.
